Annelise McCarthy on How to become a Confident Queen

In episode 2 of my podcast What A Mouthful, Annie and I discuss how energetic boundaries not only keep your mind and body healthy but also allow you to become CONFIDENT. Confidence is not felt in women who are burnt out, so looking after your female body is crucial to embodying confidence.


1. Confidence: why it’s difficult

Confidence is the belief or faith in yourself to do something. In reality, it’s more about internal capability. This is interesting because often we seek confidence externally. Confidence is an inside out job – hence the reason it’s also difficult. The inside out stuff requires consistent personal work, which only you can do.

It’s also way too easy to compare our Day 1 to someone else’s Day 500, which puts us on the back foot before we even begin the journey!

2. Labelling yourself as ‘Confident’ or ‘Not Confident’

Labelling yourself as ‘Not Confident’ is dangerous. Confidence ebbs and flows. Some days you feel red hot fire and there are days you just don’t at all. It doesn’t mean that you are not a confident woman, it just means you’re going through a wave.


1. Finding tribe

This is why finding your tribe – especially people striving for similar things – is so important. They support you and keep you on track. However, you must know yourself first in order to do that well. Ask yourself: What’s a hard YES and a hard NO for you?

If you are unclear on your vibe – on your needs or wants – how can you attract the likeminded people you need to be there to support you or raise you up?

2. Identifying and communication boundaries

Boundary setting is a skill that once implemented, literally changes your life. You learn how to put yourself as number 1 priority, in a way that serves you while you’re serving others. Dishing out every last drop of effort for everyone else all day long will leave you at the end of the day with nothing “left in the tank” for you.

Boundary setting starts with clarity. Once we’re clear on who we are and what’s important to us, we can then communicate that to people around us, lovingly. YES – you need to TELL them. They can’t read your mind. Having these conversations might initially feel uncomfortable but you need to practice it like any skill.

3. Respecting your OWN boundaries

You of all the people must respect and uphold them. Sometimes, we expect other people to respect our boundaries and uphold them but if we don’t set the example, you can’t blame them for not respecting it.


  1. Create a chart or a table of all the areas in your life, example career, relationships, personal boundaries. And you decide what’s the hard YES and the hard NO.
  2. Schedule times to communicate these with the people who are impacted by them.
  3. Respect yourself and model what boundaries look like by following your own boundaries.


  1. List on the top of your head 5 things you love about yourself. What’s a recent achievement or proud moment? This kind of positive self talk has to be normalised!
  2. Put on your favourite tunes and boogie! Talk to yourself in the mirror and tell yourself how outrageously sexy and gorgeous you are – be proud of yourself!
  3. Surround yourself with people who lift you up and support you. Use tribe to keep yourself on track and the hurtful self-talk at bay.

I hope you loved these tips. Reach out and let me know if you did by DMing me @deezibara.

Dee xx

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